sábado, 23 de febrero de 2008


Como no se me ocurre nada sobre lo cual escribir, me voy a auto-plagiar uno de los posts de mi blog en Inglés, en el cual-como en éste- casi nunca escribo.

I wake up in a semi regular good mood. Usually on Saturdays I do nothing, check my e-mail, read a little, maybe a movie in the afternoon. But today I go shopping with my mother.

I hate shopping.

It is a special sale at a department store. We get there at 11 am, it is crowded already. We head to a restaurant to get breakfast (yes, that late) and we have to wait for a table.

After 20 min we get a table. I order a goat cheese omelet with beans and tomatoes on the side. When I get it, it is really cold so I ask the waiter to heat it up. I hate to be a nasty costumer, but I can’t eat the thing. After a few minutes I get my plate back. Not a memorable breakfast but edible.

From there we go to get me a new mattress, I really need a new one, my current one is as hard as…well, it’s hard.

My mother goes to get some cash from an ATM. I get to the mattress department when a guy approaches me to help me choose.

“Can I help you ma’m?”

“I am just trying to find a mattress not too hard, not too soft.”

“We have this one here, try it out.”

I press on it with my hands and then sit on it when I hear:

“Lie down.”

He asks me to lie down so I can test the mattress…the guy asks me to lie down…almost commands it. All kind of sick thoughts cross my mind in seconds, including very vivid images of subdued submissive fantasies and public sex performances.

With what I hope is not a very obvious effort, I gather myself up to reply…I rather not .

The story of my life.

sábado, 9 de febrero de 2008

Lecciones de Historia

Maestra: A ver Fulanito, ¿qué celebramos los mexicanos el 5 de febrero?

Fulanito: Ah pos muy fácil maestra, ¡la Batalla de Puebla!

Maestra: ah qué pendejo eres fulanito, ¡claro que no! El 5 de febrero festejamos el aniversario de la firma de la Constitución de 1917...

Fulanito: Pos la pendeja es usté maestra, yo lo ví en el periódico esta mañana.